{"id":1453,"date":"2010-12-07T14:00:30","date_gmt":"2010-12-07T14:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paulgoodchild.net\/blog\/?p=1453"},"modified":"2011-11-23T00:15:16","modified_gmt":"2011-11-23T00:15:16","slug":"letting-go-the-road-demands-sacrifice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paulgoodchild.me\/blog\/letting-go-the-road-demands-sacrifice\/","title":{"rendered":"The road demands sacrifice – Letting Go"},"content":{"rendered":"

Deciding to live with no fixed abode has its price. Some costs are fair, and some feel more than a little excessive, but there is no compromise, it seems. \u201cThe road\u201d is a harsh mistress and unless you marry to her completely when you choose that lifestyle, the price you pay can be even higher than advertised.\u00a0 It’s a balance between a life lived and the life you’re now living.<\/p>\n

One demand it makes of you is that you leave behind friends and family and the comfortable routine they help provide. Inevitably, the show must go on, and so you must accept that even the closest relationships may drift. \u2018Out of sight; out of mind\u2019, and other such clich\u00e9s, you realise, come from years of experience of those who have come before us.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

A place you once were, is but a memory<\/h2>\n

Each time you leave a place, regardless of how long or short you lived or visited, your mistress demands the same sacrifice \u2013 you must let it go. Of course you don\u2019t entirely let it go, and your relationship with it will live on in your memory, your photographs and in your journal.<\/p>\n

You must also let go of personal friendships fostered during your stay, though again not entirely. Their growth, at least, is on pause.<\/p>\n

All relationships you have are, or were at one point, based on the fulfilment of at least one need<\/a> in your life. This is usually without your realising it, but sometimes it\u2019s a conscious choice, as is the case with so-called \u201cfriends with benefits\u201d, for example.<\/p>\n

When you remove yourself physically from a relationship, both of you will seek a replacement for those needs if they believe they can no longer be met, whatever the particular need(s) may be.<\/p>\n

I recently realised that I haven\u2019t completely married into this \u201clife on the road\u201d.\u00a0 If I had done so, I would\u2019ve approached some things a little differently and so at the moment, I\u2019m living a life of near-to-complete solitude and this is simply unsustainable.<\/p>\n

I had believed that many friendships I left behind would continue unimpeded, and I was wrong. I knew of course some friendships will eventually fizzle to a gentle glow \u2013 not because the underlying bond was weak to begin, but simply because certain needs that were being met cannot be fulfilled \u201cremotely\u201d.<\/p>\n

With this understanding I let many friendships go into hibernation and did little to maintain them. As I noticed signs of “fizzle”, I allowed it to happen since there\u2019s little point in resisting it \u2013 I have no doubt many would be easily revived given close physical proximity, but there\u2019s little I can do about that right now.<\/p>\n

Resistance is futile<\/h2>\n

By not fully adopting the type of life I established for myself, I resisted that which needed to be done.<\/p>\n

I needed to let go.<\/p>\n

Of course, relationships that are important to me remain so! Instead I must become more active in their maintenance, accepting all the while, that they will probably never be as they were. To continue to believe otherwise is to not put in the required effort to develop friendships as I continue to travel.<\/p>\n

I realise now more than ever that making wholesome friendships wherever I travel is as important as the journey itself. Since travel is as much a part of your life as non-travel, developing friendships on the road is just as important as off the road.<\/p>\n

Rather than try to \u201cgo it alone\u201d, I must set the making and growth of friendships and connections a priority. How I\u2019ll do that is another matter \u2013 it\u2019s not something I\u2019ve ever been very good at while travelling.<\/p>\n

For better or for worse<\/h2>\n

To hit the road or the location-independent lifestyle, with no precise exit strategy, you must marry to it completely. This requires you to accept what you will lose in terms of intimacy and friendships, while realising what you gain.\u00a0 As I mentioned before, you need to balance your focus between where you have been in your life, and where you are right now.<\/p>\n

As with all lifestyles, one on the road has the capacity to teach you new lessons, while giving you the time and the opportunity to learn them fully.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s never too late to learn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Marring to \u201cThe road\u201d gives you a harsh mistress and unless you marry to her completely when you choose that lifestyle, the price you pay can be even higher than advertised.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[75],"tags":[33,119,85,275,83,172,44],"class_list":["post-1453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cat-grow-your-mind","tag-acceptance","tag-balance","tag-friendship","tag-letting-go","tag-need","tag-resistance","tag-travel"],"yoast_head":"\nThe road demands sacrifice - Letting Go - Plog - Paulie's Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/paulgoodchild.me\/blog\/letting-go-the-road-demands-sacrifice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The road demands sacrifice - 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